3 signs you are dealing with unforgiveness
I was going to a meeting at another branch of my Office one cold afternoon. It was so cold I decided to buy a cup of coffee..Analytical thinking told me you are carrying few things ( laptop, a file and my handbag). Therefore, I should not buy the coffee because I might spill it on the bus, but I bought it as I needed the coffee to warm my inside up 😃😃.
About 2 minutes after getting on the bus, the bus turned a corner, and swerved me, causing me to pour my hot coffee on a beautiful young lady. I expected a push, a condescending look or a slap because it appears I deserved it😃. The other passengers on the bus were looking at me with grinned faces (in my language, we will say awon gboromideleru) They were ready to bite me.I began cleaning the lady up, apologising profusely at the same time. But this lady wore her smile throughout, saying to me it’s okay. We were both cleaning each other up, and smiling at the same time.
This day, I will never forget because of this lady demeanour. She was so graceful. And I thought this is one happy lady.
I imagine this lady carrying in the inside of her the first sign that shows we are dealing with unforgiveness. I may not be remembering the day as a good one.
What is this first sign?
It is called Bitterness. It is first on my list because it is the first sign that is easily seen by other people than oneself. Bitterness smells. It oozes. It is not different from jealousy or envy. People who wear these attributes will never know they smell of them. It smells because it makes people petty and compulsive. It allows rage and makes one snap at the slightest provocation.
Bitterness makes you displace on those around you. It makes you see things that aren’t there.
Bitterness eats up and it causes sickness.
Apostle Paul was well aware of this when he admonished the brethen at Ephesus in Ephesians 4: 31 ✅ Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, “forgiving each other”, just as in Christ God forgave you.
This proof from Apostle Paul is clear.
It destroys our minds, souls and bodies. If we do not embark on a journey of forgiveness, eventually bitterness will kill either physically or spiritually.
Does this sound familiar?
Begin to think on what you intend to do?.
The second sign that shows you are dealing with unforgiveness is “the need for revenge“.
When we desire to pay people back in the same manner they have done to us, this is a sign of unforgiveness. 1 Peter 3: 9 ✅ Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.
I have had people asked me favours that I have done. I am not talking about monetary favour here but others like child care or do other things for me favour etc. But when they are in the position to do the same for me, they bailed. These people are selfish people. However, we cannot treat them in like manner if they ask us again and we have the capacity…. The reward of not paying evil with evil is that we inherit a blessing. And I want to inherit a blessing, therefore I have chosen not to repay evil with evil.
Moving forward, someone offended me a great deal and I had an evil thought towards them. Immediately, I heard God say “Feyikemi, repeat after me,✅ create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me” I responded saying: seriously, create in me a clean heart? With what this person has done to me? You blame me Lord? This is why people like this never change. You do not teach them any lesson. This day I knew there is a lot of laughter in heaven more than anything, because I actually knew God laughed saying Feyikemi, am simply helping you. You have asked for peace that surpasses human understanding and in addition that you inherit eternal life, “this is how you do it”. And one thing I love most about God is, He does not talk too much. He does not try to convince you. He plants the seed and it is left for you to allow it work in you.
God said to me, it is not yours to decide how I deal with this person. I (God) decide.
That night, as I joined my prayer group, the prayer leader for the night said tonight our focus scripture is Psalm 51 : 10. “Create in me a clean heart, ….” I smiled and said, I don hear o. 😃😃😃😃
This brings me to the 3rd and last sign I am presenting to you. It is “having evil thoughts towards an offender“. If this is you, this is a sign of unforgiveness.
As Children of God, one of the ways we can show we reverence God is to hand over our battles to Him.
Imagine everyone I have offended or I am offending, having evil thoughts towards me? Hmmmm.
There is a wise old saying “A man who desires revenge should dig two graves“.
Another one says “If life can remove someone you never dreamed of losing, it can replace them with someone you never dreamt of having“.
I will leave this with you today: Galatians 5: 16 ✅ This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.. We shall pick up tomorrow on how we can help ourselves to forgive an offender.
Shalom
Feyikemi
