There was a time I felt like leaving Facebook, other social media platforms and thought who invented mobile phones ?, because now I feel like not having one. This was because I have many people reaching out asking for one help or the other. I remember vividly that it was the same when I had no job. I told many people that I am sorry I am not working as well but whenever I have a small change, I will send to you. Seriously, why did I do that? It is simply wrong.

As soon as I started earning some wages, I had to start fulfilling those promises one by one. Believe me. I will make a list and remember oh I promised (…..) about a year ago, that if I have some change, I will send to him/her. I was obliged to fulfilling those promises one by one.

I remember that about 3 months ago. A name kept coming to mind to send a token to her as she asked for help a long time ago and I did say I would when I have. I did not just say WHEN, so that seems like a little covering. Just when I decided to ask her to send me her account details, I saw a message from her, “my dear Sister please help me, however little, it will go a long way”. My heart was touched and once again, this reminded me of how Great God is and how He tend to provide and send help to His own people. I responded sis, how are you, please send your account details. She may have thought ‘wow’ that was easy but no it wasn’t and it isn’t. God had already gone ahead of her.

I posted recently about an important essence of our existence, and I stand by it that we have to help each other. When you live and you cannot say this is the person I have helped, another I have supported and I have raised the hand of that fellow, then what is the reason for your existence? Therefore, I am a believer of, you and I helping people but not to our detriment. It is true that we know whom we really are when we have huge sacrifices to make but if you do not have the means, why do you have to make sacrifices. If you do not have what it takes to fulfill it, why should you make the promise?

Now, I do not have to leave Facebook, other social media platform or throw my sim card away. I just have to learn to say NO or I am sorry, I do not have the capacity.

Making promises we cannot keep will mar our integrity and it is not good for our sanity. You mean well, but no means, and then you default. What does that say about you? Be straightforward, protect yourself and be realistic, you may want to sympathize and encourage but if you do not have the capacity, then you do not have to promise.

We live in extremely stressful times, there are lots of demands, people look up to you, to others for help and support, therefore when you make promises you cannot fulfill to people going through difficulties already, you hurt and disrespect them.

I still have my list of promises to fulfill. It is not only in a financial capacity but also in paying someone a visit, having that lunch together, sending a gift to someone etc, what I am happy about is that, the list will not grow. I am fully aware now that, If I cannot do it right now, then I will not promise. I may reach out to the person when I have the capacity, which is all-good.

Promises are like crying babies in a theater, they should be carried out at once. ~Norman Vincent Peale

Now, what promises have you made knowing fully well you do not have the capacity to fulfill? You know that you are not going to marry the lady but you keep deceiving her, inventing sweet words that will swell her up, all because you want to get in between her thighs. You are aware you cannot even spend your life with the guy and you are still around him pretending to love him because of financial or material benefits.

“I am coming now to see you. You know it is a big lie or your schedule for the day will not permit you but you thought if I say I can’t come now, she would start giving me attitude. I will just lie that I will be there, and later tell a bigger lie that prevented me from coming”.

See, it goes on.

As much as it is not good to put all our trust in man, it is not also good to give false promises to people.

When you make promises you are not sure of, people may see you as deceptive and it may ruin your reputation, and finally when you make promises you intend not to keep, it is criminal.

Make promises only when you can commit to them and it may also be good to renegotiate your promises if some thing has prevented you from fulfilling them.

Do not take your relationship with people for granted.

Hannah.